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beyond the door there is only what you imagine there to be.  again im stuck wondering how days can become weeks. waiting at the doorway, im no longer living and yet i still cannot put my hands on you, u are somewhere i could never imagine to be. (this line is written today but to be read with the last line) never beat yourself up about not saying enough. because you say so much more than you think and i believe that is always enough. ‘electronic circuitry is an extension of the central nervous system’
sorry my organs are kicking inside me. you were saying?
there is a 1% chance of me believing this is a real place we are residing right know. someone actually is taking me serious and its not funny. i swear to you im being honest. I cant look up or even think about anything right now while im writing. i am just staring at the keyboard right now not even looking up at you im going and going and going. just on and on so on. today i thought how funny i was just here yesterday trying to say this and here i am the next day, 21 hours in the future but always the past
its so goddamn dark in here can you even see me. at 99 i really thought we would feel older. remember when we were first admitting our feelings toward each other and someone was just on the other side of the door. i cant believe you dont remember? 



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