youre just like your god damned mother i swear/ theres nothing that i hate more thanyoure sigh every fukcing minute. this clock began within me years ago and you never even noticed. i swear you are the most selfish person ive ever met. I hope you know this really is about you. something about us being within i cant imagine not i see you right there in the flesh in front of me. whats wrong with staring out into space. im one of them . may i ask you to have a good day? what does that mean.
no you have a good day. im just alright.
your session is about to end in 10 minutes. do you wish to continue?
the day i turn 18,, I promise you ill be swimming. goals are the only thing keeping me from running into the middle of the street
k i know youre gone but why dont you just tell me. i dont like all this wondering =. back and forth i go always all wayys cant we touch one more time. youre body on mine/.. your session is about to end in 10 minutes. do you wish to continue?
friday february 18th
im not sure why ive chosen to write here today. i am sitting at computer 417 at the sf public libraries main branch. i challenge anyone reading to sit in this seat. you are given a beautiful view of the central cylindrical architecture. able to see into the 3rd, 4th, and 5th floors curving walkways,,,, which from this angle are reminiscent of individual zoetropes all enactice scenes where the main character has no idea they are the star.
http://radicaloa.disruptivemedia.org.uk/
https://web.archive.org/web/20030805170654/http://8minus8.com/
yesterday
February 19th its saturday
why do we refuse to push. i wish i knew. what is the first step to take when you refuse to believe in yourself. I am here wishing i could know but i sit reading thoughts in 2017 knowing i had so much more clarity then. its hard believeing that coping and mourning are a skill set. i hate that i love love. I
oh sorry you were asking my name. when i think to much i get all flustered.
you know the day in ‘66 we really had it figured out. you remember that right. oh man your dad cried , he really loves you more than ive ever seen. you have his eyes. there really was no denying you.
me and your mom, we used to listen to this song almost every night, in that small appartment on arrow. you rememebr?
the angel opens her eyes, the confusion sets in,
before the doctor can even close the door, lightning crashes
an old mother dyes
her intentions fall to the floor
the angel closes her eyes the confusion that was hers
belongs now to the baby down the hall
girl back again
thunder chasing the wind.
ive got enough problems without you bringing up the past honesy. my therapist says i dont have to answer questions like that.
todya
what does it mean to be radically open?
send me an aswer please. this is not a hypothetical.
mon feb 21st
tuesday
somehow never found the chance to fall asleep last night. the objects around me are radiating a bit of matter around them
goodmorning. i wonder who you are or whyh these seem to be getting less descriptive
March 3rd
you were always on my mind
maybe i didnt love you quite as often as i could have
maybe
you
march 7th
sorry, i was hit by a car. my hand hurts when i use it. its hard enough trying to get myself to talk. you know,
march 15th
we get our strength in the day, where the sun rays reach , i perch, my rock
fleeding in the night ,
the sun in the morning .
a new day always
the choice is made for me
march 16th
examples of things that make noise
march 17th
id so much rather grow through pain
i blame myself
3/20
today
...
aprill23
i will swim to you
whether you save me
let me
lit by the fire
i want my heart to break
if it must break
tomorrow
April 26th
i was feeling more like my self
im still on earth actually
the most beautiful
i gave you those things becasue i care
i fear being forgotten
and i dont want to fade
i dont know if its true but i feel im shining brighter now. giving out the last of what i have in a single burst. bracing for when this all ends
its not pessimistic but realistic
when i see you i dont want to look away
so i just dont. i want to feel it now because i know its my only chance
may 14th
do they know where
june 22
the feeling of being numb. through
june 23rd
im still numb. it started in my mouth today. now its in my throat
July 14
July 23
August 29
your body is always holding you back
october 26
xiii
in communicable kingdoms of the spitit where dreams become thought, where line becomes existence.
dec 15
i realize i wear my pajamas under my clothes everyday and im in bed and my pajamas were just laying on a rock and wet and theres no distance anymore.
k, i hope you read me
may 12
to write is to stroke
to leave
left
to forget
and remember ,, in bloom
underneath
these words : woven
these
webs
**threaded.** ___ sounds :
lines moving : coagulating, thinly reminding one of another
what happens to the thread:: spoken,
are we traceable, ?
after the visible and invisible collide :to create sound, these clusters along a single substrate: erupt: like cosmic expansion
planets ionizing and dissipating to thermal equilibrium
:do you think the dispersion is a dilution
an afterglow these will be sound upon which is reflected ’unseeing , they will flood the empty distance which our three dimensional capacity , holds. rounded at the edges, voided.
these intonations will roll out , lit by light into light, lightened ever more, towards inter luminescence
they will have ended in ,
reach of an elsewhere,
an invisible web
which they will over and back
wrap eachother into , cocoon
these words :
a river . flowing into ,
the expanse which dries,
evaporates: and condenses , floating within the atmosphere amorphous ,
now flying away, into an,
echo of oneself,
migrating ,
a process of osmosis .
done
in a V formation :
where each separate molecule lies embedded ,
next to and informed by the surrounded:
around: where the uplift is the most desirable
and being held, by the collective
you : then
lead:
and
togetherness:
precious
the direction always increased by the reversed
a story , a plot , a world
the nest, a harmonious structure: using ones own excretion to fashion. the nest, lies below ground,
buried,,
mummified. tangled<
surrounded by air, space
the surface: pierced by ventilation..
raised, rung
precise: pattern emerges. spacing :
made by a being, with much tender skin, a joint : spiral path, ringing configuration , pores , as regularly as if they had been punched by a machine.